he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize