Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
