Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
