I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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