Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize