im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
