Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
