You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
