I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
