i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
