What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
