i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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