My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
