I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
