ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
