Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
