i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
