I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
