He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
