i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You were trust falling into bushes
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
