Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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