My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Omg I joined a choir last night...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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