My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
