idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
