He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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