I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
