I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
