nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
