I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i already hear my dad disowning me
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
a search helicopter?!
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
