Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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