that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
