9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
