Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
