An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Randomize
