That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
