What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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