Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize