i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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