when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
