Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
