Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
