Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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