I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
