I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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