Whod you bang
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
