Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize