we're chasing vodka with high fives
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
