will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize