This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
