Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
