Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
