We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
You need a sexual gate keeper
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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