we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
