Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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