it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
