It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
