Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Randomize