I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
