"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
