He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Do you still have your period?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize