tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
