Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
