I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
