Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
