His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
