so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
